drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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