I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize