I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ambien. No doubt about it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize