I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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