You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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