Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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