i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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