it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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