I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize