New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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