in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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