my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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