Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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