how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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