I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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