I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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