I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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