You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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