I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize