The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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