He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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