Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
where are you?
Hypothermia
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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