How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize