Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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