I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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