I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The maid of honor just puked.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize