I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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