thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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