Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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