David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
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I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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