I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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