My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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