problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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