she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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