Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize