A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize