I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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