11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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