this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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