whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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