I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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