Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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