You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize