I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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