mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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