just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize