Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize