you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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