His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize