Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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