I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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